Discipline

When you start to drift............

It all comes down to this.

So they say.

It's either I am incredibly lazy to the point where I'm making excuses, or it really is a valid concern...

that by making something I think is supposed to be inspirational, spontaneous and enriching into a kind of study...a habitual form of study, the spirit of it is just being dampered?

Maybe I'm feigning ignorance. Deliberate ignorance (oh, the irony) to remain blissful in my lack of self-discipline. Just that now it isn't all that blissful anymore. It's more of an uncomfortable squirm.

I guess there isn't any way around it, then.

No more pushing away the responsibility of foreseeing my own growth, of seeding my faith.

It's all on me now.