Ohm

So, here's what went down last night. I came home from clinics,  dead tired from running on 2 hours'sleep the night before, washed my feet, pinned up my hair, got changed, studied the map of my newest fantasy fixation that is the Seven Kingdoms in the Game of Thrones, and drove off to the city for my 1 and a half hour long Yoga session.

Boy, oh boy, was it worth it.

I went in with all of my sulkiness and just full on sleepiness, and came out refreshed, energized, rosy-cheeked...happy. During the session there were times when the instructor's zen-like and patient voice infuriated me cause all I wanted to do was go home and lie in bed, not do the downward facing dog a million other ways, but looking back I probably felt better than I ever would lying in bed.

The theme of last night's class was being in the moment and enjoying progress. We spend too much plotting our goals, she says. Too much of looking at where we want to be and leaving ourselves in a position of lack. Our lives are always progressing; we are never static. It is too precious not to enjoy our constant progress. And that's why we did the downward facing dog a million other ways - they were progressions to an otherwise static pose. But then again when we ever tried to hold a pose, we never really were still. The wobbles and the shakes were, as she said, exactly where we needed to be to have progress. Wobbles and shakes are sort of equated to anger, frustration, despair. Sounds very cliched, but definitely not something emphasized enough it seems.
So she went on to say, while I was on my back doing the ultimate failure of a Hamstring stretch (I can't get my leg past 100 degrees), that in order to always feel fulfilled and to take yourself away from feeling lacking, why not make smaller goals for yourself so you'd always feel satisfied? It's true, isn't it? We reach for the sky and beyond, we want the moon and everything in between. It's an endless chase. So. Say...you're a lazy bum and your goal is to be the picture of health and have glowing embers for cheeks. Well. Stepping out the front door could be a very nice, achievable goal. Pat yourself on the back. Walk to the neighbour's house and back. Another pat on the back. Don't sit down immediately. Amazing. There you go, impossible to feel like a failure now, huh? Okay, I'm kinda mocking her now, but you know what I mean.

Yoga aside, I'd just passed my musc placement! :) 3 blocks down, 3 to go. Whew, it's gonna be a loooong 6 months. I will be trying, other than pass my placements, to enjoy them as I go. Enjoy the progress, right? I guess academically I'm actually doing as she says. I aim for 50 in all of my subjects. Well, that's the bare minimum. Maybe that's why I'm always happy with my shit marks. Making me a happier person who is not living in lack! That's my silver lining. And my excuse.

So, my status right now? ...I am happy. And I am grateful.