CRY!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_GKF7Z-qTs

OH MA GAWWDDD

most beautiful thing i've heard in a loooong time. (don't judge the ahma-esque lady by her appearance ok she's brilliant lol!)

new fav: lizst. he never seems to fail me.

maybe, just maaaaaybe i will *semi* learn it.

after the exams :D

ZOMGGGGGG

Anyone had those moments where they open up and read their diaries from way back when and cringe SO BAD ur pangsai just flows out?

Cause i just did.

LOL!

oh my goshhhh i am SO glad i'm not the person i was back in '07 and beyond anymore. at least the ones i'd written one year ago were pretty okay. lol. buttttt despite the cringe fest it was kinda cool to track how much you've changed - i.e. the way you think and feel and the things you feel are important enough to report to yourself (this sounds kinda retarded. it's like i ain't got no friends).

Sooooo i think it's time i started a new one :)

Oh, i already did. haha. maybe 20 years from now i will look back and cringe. again.

Don't let me down, future me!!!!

Little things like this

make me go all

"AWWWWWW"

p/s totally not referring to the picture lols. altho it is a good picture :D

The Cracks are Starting to Form CRATERS.

OOPS.

...Study time! (Repair in progress)

It's ABOUT Time...

THAT I PUT MY

GAME

FACE

ON!!!

but i can't. :(

and i won't.

i'm purposely sabotaging my game face plan by sitting in front of the massive comp screen,

procrastinating in the form of DINER DASH.

bloody level 28 is left unconquered.

and should be left so until the holidays!!!

dontcha think?

that's what i SHOULD think.

but i can't help it.

i must sabotage myself.

LOL.
sometimes...i just wish...
i was as paranoid and kiasu as everybody else! :p

TUMBLING MADNESSsss

Probably not the best time to start something as POINTLESS and *WU LIAO* as this, but...

www.thetumblingtumour.tumblr.com

smiles :)

FINALLY AN UPDATE!

y'all have NO IDEA how many sticks of patience i had run through just trying to get blogger to bloody let me post! grrrhs.

but anyhoooos, loads to update on yay (all about my whole 3-ish [though it seriously wasn't enough can u bliv it] months of holiday) nyehehehe. 

i shall start with the ladies' trip to TAIWAN (joined for a while by the lone ranger) with the mother and biggest (not literally na, don't be offended :p) sister.

SO, during the trip, i became an old lady...

a soldier...

*wah he damn pro can stand in the hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot sun without shrinking into a prune!!*

and ate HELLLLLLLLL lot of food.

i think this was like. some taiwan-food-scavenging trip or smt :) 

but it was damn fun. LOOOVING the streets lined with hawker food!

extremely yummilicious sweet potato chips!!

loooooves

mum shyiok eating dessert

sister shyiok

ooh, mother shyiok part II

i shyiok

we both shyiok

everybody shyiok :D

but it's not over.

lined up just cause we saw hell lot of ppl lining up.

and ended up buying this thing directly translated as big intestine wrapped in small intestine.

but don't worry. it's sausage within a sausage :)

anyways, got so caught up in the eating that i tried to feed a ghost some doughnut.

didn't work tho. 

she has SKILL!! i mean, who in the world can resist mr.donut doughnuts?! love them to bits :D

there was a lot more food involved, but i shall skip straight to the other important bits, e.g.

that we saw the 101 (and went inside to buy absolutely nothing)

that we went to the cultural village and had loads of eye candy along the way

oops, another one one eating...

...ate duck TONGUE,

which the lone ranger and the mother thoroughly enjoyed!

found a piece of chicken bigger than my FACE 

discovered the lady 007

and finally stumbled upon hello kitty heaven

...at the airport.

complete with hello kitty world map and hello kitty phone booth.

gila.

so yes, there were a lot lot lot lot more but wayyy too much to put in. ABSOLUTELY LOVE taiwan. the ppl are so friggin polite and friendly its a little bit absurd! but can't say ALL lah. there would be the odd one or two who aren't so nice like the rest (and i speculate that they are from the cheena side of things)

oh, and one more thing: we saw MAGIC POWER and DORAEMON *so if they ever become famous i can say i saw them hohoho*

rest of the holiday? went to mulu. saw loads of caves, walked quite a bit till my calves could explode.

had this...5C thing whichhhh was sad because many many many ppl were missing lols

this is not all of us okay. not so sad la lol

aww we look so young :)

forever young bah nyehehehe

feel free to experience that stab of jealousy now!

besides that, and piano, it was asking my tummy almost every hour of the day "what do you feel like eating now?" 

...and then go eat something else.

so yeah. 

END POST.

Sighs, sometimes things just do not go as planned.

:(

but, being my optimistic and EXTREMELY hopeful self (which kinda sucks sometimes cause it intensifies the disappointment and cacatness of something gone wrong)...

i will hope and hope and hope that i will end up at the same destination.

just via another, albeit lengthy and mahuan (-_-"), route.

yeah but i was just disappointed for a whole bloody day...and it made me reconsider doing it.

i have now (a few days later) decided to just GO FOR IT. but i don't know how. lol.

so, i guess, we shall wait and seeeeeee.

Signs of Aging :(

O WAIL my achy-breaky....heart?

NOT.

...my achy-breaky BONES!!!

my bones are cracking and protesting (very very loudly, mind you) every time i move!!! seeeeriously it is so terrible i cannot put into words the extent of it. :( and i'm so young boo hoo.

what to do, oh what to do.

this is slightly depressing, seeing as how i'm most probably gonna be one of the first first first first people in my age range to get arthritis or smt choichoichoi!!

i should start doing stretches every morning/night like my good old daddy does. WHOAH my dad is 1000000 gabillion times more flexible than me. which kinda kills it even more for me. sighs.

ON ANOTHER NOTE,

i can't believe inglorious basterds did not win best motion picture!!!!! i mean, like SERIOUSLY. avatar is gooood and all, but heck. ain't as good and entertaining as inglorious basterdsssss. potong steam :(

oh, ON ANOTHER ANOTHER NOTE, :) :) :)

ok there isn't another note. the note is the same.

but just a random...i dno, fact or something.
that my piano teacher's house is officially kampung saya nombor dua. it's INSANE how many times i pop over to her place for things exam-related and not even have actual piano lessons. but, thank god, it's all over tomorrow morning. enrollment is OFFICIAL as of 8.00 am whew. aaaand i'd been advised to keep my phone switched on and super-glued to my side the second i wake up cause my teacher's paranoid and a little OCD lol!! but god bless her heart she is the awesomest piano teacher in the world :)

hrm. enough weirdness. gotta go lim 7-layer (zomg) teh now heh heh hehhh.

O DIVINE POWER!

yes, i need help.

i need LOADS of help.

charging ahead despite:
1. my lack of discipline...which contributes to (ok it probably is the sole cause of : )
2. my lack of confidence in my studies and whatever else i'm doing...which happens to be the piano exam i feel i have an extreeeemely high probability of failing.

but surprisingly, people do not seem to think so. surprising, because i seriously am no good :S
hence, O DIVINE POWER. make it so that i create and integrate and FULFILL the very belated new year's resolution that is to use my time wisely. -_-"

i think i'm doing the right thing, at least. there's no other time like the present, they say. i don't think i'd ever get around to completing this 2-year goal if i don't take the initiative to enrol. hrrrmmm.

so, right now, i'm doing research for my programme notes. and wowww reading all these stuff about the pieces really kinda brings them composers to life! i mean, it's easy to play the songs and feel what u feel, often forgetting that there was a living human being behind these songs...and how real events led to their amazing creations! somehow (cause usually i think it gila cheesy)  i find the fact that beethoven wrote his "moonlight sonata" for his, i dno, love of his life is so frikkin sweet. so romantic-ky. that his love is printed on a page everywhere in the world!! plus the song is so beautiful. :):):):)

life as of now is piano-filled and not much else besides bumming and hanging out :p

and worrying if i can pull it all of nxt yr.

thomas the choo choo train shall be my inspiration. :D


p/s being bitten to death by bloody mosquitoes!
will turn into blotchy bulbous human if they don't just drop off and die!!!

p/p/s stupid sausages bit holes into my favourite dress. -_-"

An Ode to Sigmund Freud

this, people, is mr. sigmund freud.
...whom i had to read countless chapters on back in my Trinity year for some HOI essay thingamajig.
and frankly i think he's just some crazy bugger.
he's a looney one, really. hahaha.
but he's suggested that dreams are repressed memories that the brain brings into consciousness - without us being fully conscious. basically this is the gist of it. and he says that it reflects personality.
what if he's right??
then what would that say about me??

i've always had freaky dreams. the freakiest would be the ones which involve me killing people.
..especially people i know.
like, murdering people in the most vivid and gruesome way imaginable.
there are 3 that i can really remember. and they disturb me to the core.
i not only see myself murdering innocent people, i see the splattering blood and the disfigurement it ensues.
and in these 3 cases, they are extreeeeemely vivid.
just last night i dreamt of shooting a girl ( i think i knew her ) in the face multiple times with a hand gun. i remember feeling really relieved upon finding the gun so i could shoot her. she'd have holes in her face and it'd be streaming with blood but she just.wouldn't.die. so i kept shooting her. LOL. and STILL she would still be coming towards me!!!
i don't know at what point i woke up, but i sure felt glad to wake. somehow this time i didn't feel guilty, like i did for the last 2 "murders".
somehow they all involve using some weapon...in one, the grass cutter blade which i'd used to dismember many many people in trinity's bull paddock (hahaha). another one, using a blunt pole to stab this girl in the face  till she had no face. and i'd be overcome with guilt. then extremely relieved to wake up.

SO WHAT DOES THIS SAY?!?!?!?
am i evil????
will i become evil????
did someone try to kill me way back when so now my unconscious is warning me when i can finally defend myself?

or is this all just due to insignificantly random brain activity?
hhhrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

owells. -_-"
just don't get on my nerves and maybe i wouldn't dream of killing u
:p

I've just been shown something...about a person's past.
and now i can't stop thinking.
about how i've been living with this person for SO LONG.
walking past her, talking to her, yet never really building a really significant relationship with her.
despite and apart from the god-given relationship we have.

Now i'm wondering how i could have been so oblivious to the things going on around me.
Oblivious to her troubles.
Oblivious to her pent up emotions.
for many many many years now.

It's one thing to learn to let your guard down,
and another to not try by saying that it's just not in our nature.
maybe we all should've been more supportive. closer.
i know i could have.

So it all comes down to building relationships.
ours just wasn't really there.
that, i know.
because that, i feel.

Now, i know. and shit, it's only now that i sorta get why you do the things you do. did the things u did.
and why u are the way u are.
i hope it's just not too late to change the way things are.
but somehow i do see a difference between now and then.

The point is i'm sorry.
that i've always been impatient with u.
that we've never had what u needed.
but it's good we have what we have. it counts for something, at least.
and most of all i'm sorry you had to lug all this shit around for so long.

but i know things would be for the better :)

Let me present...

THE WAR ZONE

this is as organized as it gets.

LOL.